Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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