I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
