i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
