just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
