Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
