Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
