u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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