he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
