What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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