What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
