he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
