Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize