you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
