I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The air taste purple.
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