Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
