I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
