It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Found the puke drawer
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
