Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
