yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i think i have herpe
just one?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
