i barfeds in our rink
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
