his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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