That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Actions speak louder than pants.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize