i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
third nipple confirmed
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
