just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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