ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
