I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I could fuck to npr.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
