i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
