how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
