oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
