I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This girl is more easily done than said...
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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