He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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