I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize