Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
