Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
