bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
