I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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