I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
