dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Is it penis luge time yet?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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