i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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