Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
