who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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