the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
