You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
