you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
