im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Need sex. Gaining weight.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
