all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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