Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize