dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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