Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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