nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
