Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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