Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
