so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize