I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
