garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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