she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize