thus making me awesome and them whores
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
This toilet bowl is my home.
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