my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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