Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
