Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
