Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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