i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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